1. |
To Fonder Futures
08:35
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As the sun fades
I trace the outline of the horizon on the pink sky
"To Fonder Futures"
Then the night fell
Was it for fears I criedTonights ghosts line the pockets of my minds eye
Bags are forming, and I'm weary.
The empty hours of the midnight soft light
Leave me time to wrestle with my mind
And everything I write belongs to this
Obsession, recession, this depression
Not to me.
As the sun fades
I trace the outline of the horizon on the pink sky
"To Fonder Futures"
Then the night fell
Was it for fears I cried
Tonights ghosts line the pockets of my minds eye
To fonder futures.
It isn't right.
It doesn't feel quite
Like I know how to feel anything but wrong
It isn't right.
I've placed my soul
And everything I own into this cold
It takes away
And I've been alone here for some time
In this cold secluding myself
It takes away, and it breaks men down.
Try to keep your thoughts of me
Between the two worlds we breathe
Who am I to you?
Who am I to me?
Attempt to find the words
He tried to let it all out
But released it into a cold, cold world that threw it back at him
Why did it have to be this way?
And slowly but surely
He exchanged his sanity for pen and paper
You'd think he feel better
But it just brought back ghosts of his former self
Why did it have to be this way?
And he wondered who am I?
He wondered where his name fit into the grand scheme
Of this world of expectations, and others disappointment
Why did it have to be this way?
It's like these things make or break-ed him
Where did love go and why did it have to be this way?
Why did it have to be this way?
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2. |
The Church Upstairs
00:36
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3. |
We Must Be Broken
03:37
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I'm having trouble remembering.
As if I had a choice
Between my past and my future.
They told me the world was ending,
But never said when nor how
And all I wonder is "why"?
I've been here long enough to know
Everything is temporary.
For myself all I can show
Are empty houses and no homes.
I'm floating through my subconscious
Trying to make the ends meet.
They're burning at both ends
And slowly taking from me,
My sanity, all known truths.
Exchanging fears reflection.
Painting slow strokes in black paint
Across a face I never guess was mine
So I'll try to ignore it.
I'll just wait for it to fade
It always does like you and me
Our mistakes become routine
Routines become who we are
I'm having trouble remembering
I had a dream I fell asleep
But I couldn't hold on
But is reality slipping
Or finding me again
The hunted and haunted are me
Can't help but fall down again
Sleeping is pointless without dreams
But is reality slipping
Or finding me again
I don't know
They told me heaven's descending
I said well that explains the weight on my shoulders
Our mistakes become routine
Routines become who we are
I'm having trouble remembering
I had a dream I fell asleep
But I couldn't hold on
I'm having trouble remembering.
As if I had a choice
Between my past and my future.
They told me the world was ending,
But never said when nor how
And all I wonder is "why"?
And now I still have no answers
They've been here long enough
To know they're aren't happy endings
They told me heavens descending
But I looked up at the sky
And thought well I have to try.
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4. |
Identity
04:23
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Identify me
Attempt to find me
In a sea of sunken dreams
I stay afloat
But only barely on thin arms
I'm a mirror by myself
Reflecting everybody else
But never what I thought or felt
It's not my time.
It's the silence that depresses me
And I welcome it subconsciously
I don't mind.
Even the blind see
Who they want to be
Not contingent on the stares
They are so blissfully unaware
Of what they are
Everyones gaze it petrifies
Because of what it signifies
I feel I've lost more of myself
Than I can find
It's the silence that depresses me
And I welcome it subconsciously
I don't mind.
And I confront what I repress in me
And I smile at it thankfully
It reminds me of whats real
Reminds me I can feel
And it hurts to know
This is who I am
I'm a mirror myself
Reflecting everybody else
Who am I to deny
my place in their right
I'll just keep the silence for myself
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5. |
Ghosts
06:06
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I choke back the words
I never should have loved you
If I'm so easy to let down
Or easy to let go of
Explain to me why nights must fall
And days break with the dawn
And my heart broke with your last words
Though we could mend them all
The bruised nights and shattered days
Are easily forgiven or forgotten
I choke back the words
I never should have loved you
If I'm so easy to let down
Or easy to let go of
It's 3 a.m and I swear
There's more than just these ghosts
inside my head
I choke back the words
I never should have loved you
If I'm so easy to let down
Or easy to let go of
If you'd just take back what you feel
And keep it to yourself
Ill keep my setting suns in gold instead of red
My nights would still be stable
And my days would skip the dawn
It's 3 a.m and I swear
There's more than just these ghosts
inside my head
They want me to lose sleep over you.
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6. |
Mother
03:56
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And oh,
Could you have stayed
Do you think its selfish of me
To reach out with a hand
Long taken back
Could you have stayed
Could you have stayed
Oh father do you really just forgive me if I ask
Just like you promised I'm crying out
Just another hopeless and forgotten soul
With plenty of years before me I'm crying out
Could you have stayed
Oh mother, are you still there
And are the gates gold like you hoped for
I must confess,
I'm struggling to believe you're not just gone
And does it count if I pretend to believe for your sake
I volunteer oh father
Please forgive me for I know not what I do
Lately this is the only way
To bring myself to her and close to you
And are the gates gold like you hoped for father
I confess, I can't forgive myself so why should you
So pin me to your cross, forgive them all
And maybe someday you'll forgive me too
And I would go so far as to tear into my heart and hope
The light would shine out brighter
Oh could you have stayed
Oh could you have stayed
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